Harry The Constipated Pig (The Original Efanis!)
by Efanis
Summary: This is the origonal Harry The Constipated Pig story, I wrote in 2000. Even though this has nothing to do with Harry Boy, Read it, for a good laugh.


Harry the Constipated Pig  
  
  
By Efanis  
(Reader Advised, DO NOT READ THIS if your are insulted by constipation)  
YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED  
  
  
Once upon a time there was a little farm with a little pig who was a little constipated. His name was Harry. One day Harry had noticed he hadn't gone to the bathroom in a long, long time. Quickly Harry tried to go to the bathroom, but alas, nothing happened. "Oh, no..." Harry screamed, "I'm CONSTIPATED!" So off Harry went to find some help. He came across Cow, who was eating at the time. "Cow" questioned Harry, "I'm constipated, can you help me?" Cow mumbled something but cow was eating and food was spat onto poor Harry as she talked.  
"Yuck," Harry said, at least I don't do that!" and walked of to find Dog. Dog, didn't look so good. "Dog" wondered Harry "Can you help my constipation?" Dog, unwillingly tried to say, he ate too much, but instead, simply vomited all over Harry. "Ewww", Harry said, "Gross-o-roma!" and off he went to find duck. Duck, who was admiring himself in the pond hardly, noticed Harry. "Duck, um, I have a constipation problem, do you think you can help? Duck, in all his selfishness, quacked so loud in Harrys face that his ears almost fell off. " Gee," Harry thought, "I'm glad I'm not like that," and off he went to find goat. There he found goat sniffing his own droppings. Harry left, disgruntled and went to find some one more sophisticated. He went and found Horse. "Um Hello there Horse, I'm constipated, would you might me some help?" Horse walked over to Harry and stomped on him.   
"Did it come out?" question the dumb horse. "No!" and off Harry went thinking, at least he didn't have that problem.   
  
-ENDING ONE OF SIX  
  
Then Harry thought of all the problems the animals had and realized that his was constipation. "Hooray! I am constipated" shouted Harry, and the moral of this story is that everyone is special in there own way.  
THE END  
  
-ENDING TWO OF SIX  
  
Then Harry followed the farmer into the bathroom. As the farmer was looking for some pills he knocked over a big creamy bottle of LAXATIVE! Harry, licked it all up, but it was TOO much and from that day on Harry was known as 'Harry the pig that couldn't stop pooping, and farting and making a mess all over the place, and making things smell bad, and ect.....'  
THE END  
  
-ENDING THREE OF SIX  
  
Then Harry knew it! It was diet time for him, he are veggies and carrots, but no corn. Eventually Harry became unconstipated and was happy he solved his problem. The moral of this story is that nothing is too hard to do if you try, and as long as you try, you can succeed!   
NOTE-  
Harrys Constipation Diet is not approved by the FDA and is not proven to cure or prevent any type of sickness or constipation, consult your doctor first.   
  
-ENDING FOUR OF SIX  
  
Then all of a sudden Harry was shaking, rumbling and POP. Harry blew up from constipation build-up. That was the end of poor Harry, but... the beginning for what the farmer now had to clean up!  
  
THE END  
  
-ENDING FIVE OF SIX  
  
After a while Harry didn't care anymore and lived his life constipated.  
THE END  
  
-ENDING SIX OF SIX  
  
Harry realized no one liked him anyway, so he lived his life as Harry the constipated pig that no one likes.  
THE END   
  
- other endings  
  
Harry liked peas  
  
The end  
  
Harry look at the poop on the floor  
  
The end  
  
Hamsters  
The end  
  
The balloon went POP and bye bye, lalalallalaalla  
  
Then end  
  
JR THE ELF SCREAMED 'EAT MY SHOWER CAP THAT'S LODGED IN MY EAR, IT'S A SHUTTLE FOR SPACE!"  
  
The end  
  
Harry went and looked at the apple sauce, and then farted on the dog  
The end  
  
JR THE ELF SCREAMED   
  
The end  
  
SOME ONE POOED IN THERE PANTS YELLED THE MAN WITH NO PANTS  
  
The end  
  
The boy chased the boy chased the boy chased the boy chased, THE BIG FURRY THING ATTACKED THE BOY CHASED  
  
The end  
  
GRANDMA WENT I NEED DIAPERS CAUSE I AINT GOT NO BOWL  
  
The end  
  
The cheese attacked, I fell to the ground, smelling of limburger  
  
The end  
  
I STILL LIKE TRAFIC LIGHTS  
  
The end  
  
The stall door was busted in, reveling, a small boy the age of 9 eating cheese cake, and he screamed JR THE ELF MADE ME EAT THE HAMSTERS MOMMIE!  
  
The end  
  
  
JR the Elf Said MAMA OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO THERES A PICKLE THAT FELL FROM THE HAMSTERS NOSE SO I MUST EAT IT SO IT GROWS AND NOW MY TOES ARE HOT AND COLD  
  
The end  
  
There was POOOOPIE, it smelled of ranch dressing with elf puddinng  
  
The end  
  
6  
The end  
  
Seventeen, eighty nine, doubble you,  
  
The end  
  
NED SAT IN THE BIG BOWL OF ELF GOOP  
  
The end  
  
I'm A big boy now!   
  
The end  
  
CRAP MAN, DHDHDHDHDHHDAUUUU, Saving the world from the crap, and other politicly incorrect stuff, I think, I mean who like cream cheese with apple sauce on it, that's like Jr the elf saying "I like the small red button the the small red train with the small red door, with the small red seat, with the small red engener with the small red cap, with the small red nose, and the small red shirt button, and the small red finger, with the small red bandaid, with the small red cut, with the small red blood cell, with the small red vain with the small red..." JR THE ELF HAD CONVOLTIONS ON THE FLOOR,, and said A b CCCCCCDEDEDEDEDEEDEDD ABC ABC ABC 


End file.
